The long journey ahead

Tonight I was asked what my goals for this year were. That is such a hard thing to answer. With all of my humanly failings I feel there are infinite things I could take as goals for this year. My answer was that I want to run after God to seek His heart for my life. Ideally, I would be able to do this because why wouldn't I want to entrust my life, my future to the one who does know it all. Not only does He know it all, He knows what is best for me. Wow. That is amazing. Not only does God know everything that will happen, He knows all about me and my future. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

This verse has meant a lot to me these last three months or so. Even though I know this, I do not let God navigate my life all of the time. When I take over or start putting my own selfish desires into the plan I have for my life, I get farther away from what God would have for me. When I get farther away from God's heart for my life the more miserable I become. I start pounding like crazy on doors that have been shut and hold on to my selfish desires even tighter. The more I wait to turn my heart in God's direction, the more I have to surrender to Him in the end. By that point, these things have become so entwined with my heart that it causes excruciating pain to rip them away. All that is left is a broken mess.

Even though we grow weary from the brokenness and turning and running back to God, His love for us is so great and unfailing that He never leaves. He is always there calling us back to His heart. This year I pray I wander back, not too weary from my journey.